You’re not supposed to like psychics. They are all frauds solely interested in conning you out of 20 bucks (or sometimes 200 bucks). They dress like gypsies, use crystal balls, and have hairy moles. They hear a little sound coming from the bottom of your chair and say insightful things like, “I sense that you struggle with gas.”
But not all psychic mediums are created equal. And if you admitted in public that you believe some of them have a legitimate gift that they’re committed to using for the good of others, your friends would laugh at how gullible you are, and your religious parents would throw holy water at you. Which is why for many years I was an undercover psychic lover.
Not Your Mama’s Psychic
My psychic of choice throughout my 20′s was a woman named Barbara. She was nothing like what you’d expect; she vibed like your favorite aunt, invited clients into her small but fabulous Manhattan apartment, and looked like a hot blond soccer mom.
Barbara considered herself a channel, receiving messages directly from angels and spirit guides. She also connected with my deceased loved ones, recounting specific details about their deaths, their personalities, and the dynamics of their relationship with me. Barbara was also able to report insanely accurate details about my life and the lives of my loved ones without me having to provide her with a single bit of information that might give anything away. She was the real deal.
But what I liked best was that I felt that she cared. She didn’t want me to continue negative or harmful patterns of thinking and living, and her goal was to encourage others to face challenges and fears that must be met in order to improve their quality of life.
Barbara encouraged me to bring a blank cassette tape to each session so that she could record them for me. This allowed me to review what she had said in case I forgot anything, while also providing me with a record of her predictions for when/ if they came true.
Here are a few things that had me thinking “Oh crap, how’d she know?!”:
- You need to work on and cultivate your voice. Do not be afraid to speak your truth. If someone were beating someone up you’d probably yell like crazy. But then when somebody has abused you you don’t say anything. You have a lot of self-doubt and insecurity but know that you are very much protected.
- Your friend “Matt” does not have long to live. How do you know this guy??? Be careful with him because he’s got a whole fantasy centered around you.
- In your counseling practice you may be dealing with death or people who are dying.
- Archangel Raphael is around you. He is involved in all manners of healing. In this lifetime you’re here to heal, uplift, and serve.
- Even when you’re out of school you’re going to want to keep evolving and growing. You get bored if you’re not evolving.
- Babies want to come to you because you’re so good with kids and you’ll be a good mommy.
- Regarding my husband: He’s got a great sense of humor. He’s such a goofball guy. There’s a childlike creative energy in him, which is great for you because you wanted a playmate. You really are his best friend. He’s not that big strong alpha male – but you don’t want a big strong alpha male.
- Regarding my father-in-law: You clicked with this guy. You really liked him and he liked you too. The feeling is if he weren’t old and married he’d go for you, so he’s glad that his son has found you. (Ha!)
My grandmother and Brian’s grandmother “came through” during sessions and they had a lot of opinions to share. (Yup, they’re just as feisty as they were when they were alive.)
This all sounds very impressive. (Or creepy. Or sacrilegious. Or lame.) But so what if Barbara knew all of this about my past, my desires, my family, and my weaknesses? What’s the point of paying a stranger to tell you things that you already know in your heart to be true? What’s the appeal of seeing a psychic aside from it being kinda fun?
We want guidance. We want answers. We want confirmation. We want peace of mind. We want to know that there is more to life and to our personal destinies than the anxiety we experience in the present. We want the invisible world to bring us comfort and hope, not fear.
In 2004 Barbara felt that my then-boyfriend/ love of my life/ center of my universe would pull away. Months later, he did just that… and headed right into the arms of someone else. I didn’t see it coming despite the fact that Barbara had predicted it, and as some of you already know, it’s sudden loss in particular that effs up your head the most. Losing someone you love (through death, divorce, or otherwise) is hands-down the most awful and life-altering experience in the world. So I sought comfort in my friends, my faith, my therapist, and of course, my psychic.
During my depression, I obsessively played the cassette tape of a session I had with Barbara in which she talked about why my ex had left me and what the future held. I waited for her predictions to come true rather than make my own decisions. Instead of moving on with my life, I listened to the tape– it seemed like the only connection I had left to the person I loved and lost. After listening to it twice a day for a few weeks, I had it memorized.
But God (or The Universe, or angels, or my panda spirit guide, or whatever works for you) had a different plan for me. One day the tape came flying out of my car’s cassette player with the reel of tape tangled in a mess that was beyond repair. No longer able to rely on an external object for comfort, I was left to do the hard work of building my strength and resilience from the inside out.
What may start out as fun, casual, and a one-time-only activity can easily turn into a crutch once you’re in a desperate enough situation. And here we see the danger of relying on a psychic (or a boyfriend, or a parent, or anyone for that matter): there are people in this world who are here to support and love you, but no one is here to hold you up. You’ve got to be able to do that for yourself.