Even on my honeymoon I was conducting ball research.
Sometimes your brain is your balls’ worst enemy. Your brain can talk you out of anything – even a wise, excellent, brave idea.
At the same time, balls without brains is dangerous. Courage without wisdom is powerless. (And using too many intriguing but vague philosophical statements in a single paragraph makes you sound like you’re quoting Yoda.)
Perhaps I should be more straight-forward.
Here’s what having balls does NOT look like:
- Rebelling in anger and frustration
- Taking action merely out of fear, desperation, fatigue, or to avoid conflict
- Taking action just to teach someone a lesson
Now here’s what having balls DOES look like :
- Allowing yourself to express anger and frustration
- Taking action that scares you, is motivated by desperation or fatigue (in exchange for your own sanity), or allows you to avoid *unnecessary* conflict
- Taking action just to teach someone a lesson
Waaaaaiiiiit a minute. Those lists look awfully similar. Oh boy. Who knew balls were so complex? Is it possible that no two balls are ever the same? Or that balls come in wide varieties, depending on the situation and the individual? (Gasp!)
To illustrate my point, let’s look at a case study of my balls vs. one of my friend’s balls:
Me
I’m an anxious analyzing people-pleaser who is easily discouraged and avoids conflict like Mariah Carey avoids loose-fitting turtle necks. So when I’m feeling ballsy I am able to say no, set boundaries, get angry without crying, stay in the fight after a rough shot to the chin, and be less affected by what others think of me.
My Anonymous (otherwise she’d KILL me) Friend
My friend is extremely focused, tough, and independent. She has zero tolerance for people’s BS, their pointless small talk, their annoying quirks, and their bratty children. So her version of ballsy is being patient, letting her guard down, and knowing when to play nice.
The rate at which your balls grow is tied to your level of self-awareness. What is your comfort zone? And more importantly, what does the world beyond your comfort zone look like? That’s where the ground is fertile for personal growth. That’s where your courage will be summoned. That’s where you’ll find out what your balls should look like.
