Home is where you discover what truly matters.
Home is where you feel safe enough to have scary but important conversations.
And of course, Home is where your homies are.
My home? It’s been in my parents’ basement for the past 3 years. (Womp-womp!)
Obviously, it’s not where I imagined I’d live as a 32-year-old married woman. But sometimes being a grown-up means making tremendous sacrifices in order to repair major mistakes in your past. (Like…oh, $28k in credit card debt, for example.)
I’m grateful for our successful sacrifice, but I’ll be honest– my husband and I barely survived this arrangement. Seriously, 3 years of not being able to walk through your living room in the nude can destroy your soul.
But tomorrow we are finally moving to a NEW home! Which happens to be in a new state because of my new job. That’s a whole lot of new.
So it is no wonder it’s 4am, and I’m typing these words between packing and panicking over The Great Unknown before me.
I wish I were like our cat, Punky, who is sitting next to me right now, curled up in a sleepy oblivious ball. She has no idea that tomorrow she’ll be drugged as we transport her from her New York City birth place to a town in Pennsylvania with a name I can barely pronounce. She will sleep soundly tonight, lucky thing.
I, on the other hand? I’m a little too aware of what the future may or may not bring, and my most addictive daydream is of the worst case scenario. For me, this would mean hating my new job, feeling miserable without my family, struggling to make new friends, and not having easy access to the essentials in life– Target, and excellent Thai food, obviously.
Maybe you’re in a similar situation, one in which you are about to embark on a journey that feels so unfamiliar and frightening.
To you (and to me), I have this to say: The landscape of our lives will always be changing. So we might as well get good at creating a happy and safe home within ourselves, no matter what life looks like.
Home is not a place; it’s a feeling, a kind of strength, a collection of fond memories, a commitment to self-care, and an unbreakable connection to the people we love no matter how far away they are. Home is a spiritual state of being. It is Love and Courage on the inside, no matter what’s happening on the outside.
Tomorrow we’ll pull our U-Haul truck up to our new home. I will unpack all the familiar things we love, and prepare the space for our new adventure. I’ll learn how to live well in my new apartment, in my new state, with my new job.
But most of all, my husband and I will take care of ourselves and each other, spilling over with gratitude for where life has taken us, knowing that the people and things we left behind are never really gone from our hearts. Because that’s what it means to be home.
Your Turn: How did you come to feel at home in a new place?