The 3 most addictive types of pornography are:
- traditional porn – images of flesh, sweat, and crevices.
- wedding porn – images of table settings, wedding gowns, and invitations.
- house porn – images of cabinetry, crown molding, and great curb appeal.
When you’re young and happily married, you watch a lot of the latter.
Fantasizing about the perfect home is an exciting and addictive process. It asks you to list your values. It encourages you to dream big. It compels you to smile just thinking about you and your family’s future.
This weekend my husband Brian and I went apartment hunting for the perfect 2-bedroom property, and the experience surpassed our expectations. Not only did we fall in love with one particular property, but we also learned a lot about ourselves along the way.
So today I’m sharing the 3 very different types of property we visited, followed by what each apartment taught us about life and decision making.
Lesson from the charming home with vintage details (Swoon!)
Before even viewing this apartment in-person, I assumed this place would be “the one”. From the photos and description on Craigslist (yes, I occasionally use Craigslist…and yes, I’ll occasionally put my life at risk for a great discount), this property was perfect on paper – hardwood floors, lovely details, tons of sunlight, and a tree-lined location in a trendy part of town.
But after touring this property Brian and I visited 2 more apartments. We explored our options. We lived life a little more, in a sense.
And by the end of the day, our opinions surprised us. We were not who we were when we began. Brian in particular had fallen out of love with what we expected to be our dream home.
Sometimes “perfect on paper” isn’t the right fit.
Which sucks. Because life is easier when what you think you want ends up matching what you end up wanting after a little more life experience.
And if there’s not a match? Well. Get ready because you’re about to do a ton of tough soul-searching. You’ll have to mourn a former fantasy. You’ll have to start from scratch.
But the good news is that all of these things always lead to a surprisingly awesome life.
Lesson from the cool (but cold) carriage house
My husband and I toured an apartment that was actually a 100-year-old little structure once used to house carriages and horses. It had a working fireplace, beautiful stone walls, exposed wood beams on the ceilings, and an irresistible cool factor. (I know!!!)
But the inside was musty and freezing cold. And the two bedrooms were technically below ground level, which brought in tons of moisture and little light.
There are two problems here. First, I’m half a symptom away from being diagnosed with Seasonal Affect Disorder (I’m prone to depression in cold temperatures. Hey, I’m a brown girl with tropical blood in me – what do you expect?). Second, we are trying to get the heck out of our current basement apartment.
Which can only mean one thing: I refuse to live in this house.
Remember when I asked What are you willing to give up? Well, here’s another burning question I’ve got on my mind : What are you no longer willing to tolerate?
Know what your limits are. Know what conditions break you. Know which kinds of pain are worth it and which are not.
No sacrifice (and no amount of rustic charm) is worth your emotional well-being.
Lesson from the cookie-cutter condo
Did this 2 bedroom, 2 bathroom apartment have charm or character? Nope. Was it in a trendy area filled with other artsy young professional families? Not really.
But it did have an open layout, central air, a pool, sliding doors onto a spacious balcony, a master suite with a huge walk-in closet and full bathroom, carpeting (we are a no-shoes-indoors couple that enjoys sprawling out on a comfy and clean floor), easy parking, and a tiny price tag. (Yay for tiny price tags!)
But most importantly, this property made us smile on the inside. We could see ourselves working on our creative projects here. We could even have a baby here. This place wasn’t perfect on paper in terms of aesthetics, but it was a perfect match for our lifestyle.
I don’t care if we’re talking about choosing a career, a mate, or a house – when the right one comes along, you feel it in your gut. It may not be what (or who) you expected to fall in love with, but you’ll know it’s “the one” because it will honor who you are. It will bring you closer to your personal, professional, and spiritual goals. It will be the cheese to your macaroni.